IMPOSSIBILITY, IMPOSSIBLE
ADJECTIVES
► BENEEK contrary, impossible → 1960s S. Afr.
► LAPUTAN pertaining to Laputa, the flying island in Gulliver’s Travels; hence, visionary, absurd, fanciful, preposterous, ridiculous, impossible → 1866
► NO-GO impossible → 1825 UK sl.
► NO SOAP not possible or successful → US & Can. sl.
► NOT AN EARTHLY no chance at all; absolutely impossible → M18 sl.
► NOT ON unacceptable, impossible; not permissible; forbidden; not going to happen → 1972 sl.
► SICK AND WRONG absolutely impossible, unthinkable, totally disgusting; also used ironically → 1980s US campus sl.
► SNOOKERED placed in a deliberately difficult position or impossible situation → 1915 UK sl.
► UNABLE not able to be done, impossible → c1400 obs.
► UNPOSSIBLE impossible → 1862 Sc. & Eng. dial.
INTERJECTIONS & PHRASES
► CAN A MOOSE CROCHET? used as an emphatic negative; ‘no, that’s impossible’ → 1960s
► FALSE! no! impossible! that’s not true! → 1989 US campus sl.
► HAVE A WET EEL BY THE TAIL to grasp something elusive; to attempt a virtual impossibility → 1993 Amer. dial.
► IF THE CAT WENT A POUND an expression of impossibility → 1990s Irish sl.
► IN A PIGS! completely impossible! absolutely not! I don’t believe you! go away! → M19 sl., orig. US
► IN A PIG’S ARSE! ► IN A PIG’S ASS! completely impossible! absolutely not! I don’t believe you! go away! → M19 sl., orig. US
► IN A PIG’S BUTT! completely impossible! absolutely not! I don’t believe you! go away! → M19 sl., orig. US
► IN A PIG’S EAR! completely impossible! absolutely not! I don’t believe you! go away! → M19 sl., orig. US
► IN A PIG’S EYE! completely impossible! absolutely not! I don’t believe you! go away! → M19 sl., orig. US
► IN A PIG’S GIZZARD! completely impossible! absolutely not! I don’t believe you! go away! → M19 sl., orig. US
► IN A PIG’S HOLE! completely impossible! absolutely not! I don’t believe you! go away! → M19 sl., orig. US
► IN A PIG’S NECK! completely impossible! absolutely not! I don’t believe you! go away! → M19 sl., orig. US
► IN A PIG’S POKE! completely impossible! absolutely not! I don’t believe you! go away! → M19 sl., orig. US
► IN A PIG’S SNOUT! completely impossible! absolutely not! I don’t believe you! go away! → M19 sl., orig. US
► IN A PIG’S TIT! completely impossible! absolutely not! I don’t believe you! go away! → M19 sl., orig. US
► IN A PIG’S TONSIL! completely impossible! absolutely not! I don’t believe you! go away! → M19 sl., orig. US
► IN A PIG’S VALISE! completely impossible! absolutely not! I don’t believe you! go away! → M19 sl., orig. US
► IN A PIG’S WIG! completely impossible! absolutely not! I don’t believe you! go away! → M19 sl., orig. US
► NO BOTTLE impossible, not allowed, out of the question → 1846
► NO CAN DO cannot do, impossible → M19 sl.
► NOT FOR THE LIFE OF YOU expresses the impossibility of your doing or understanding something → 1809
► NOT ON YOUR NELLIE not a chance, absolutely impossible → 1958 sl.
► NO WAY IN THIS WORLD! impossible! → 1913 Amer. dial. (Bk.)
NOUNS
► ADYNATON an impossibility → 1654 obs.
► BLIVET in computing: a problem which cannot be solved; any impossibility → 1991 US sl.
► BLUE DAHLIA something impossible or unattainable; something rare or unheard of → 1880
► KANGAROO FEATHERS an impossible thing, often an unlikely story → 1910s Aust. sl.
► NO-NO an impossibility, something forbidden → 1942 sl. (Bk.)
► NUTCRACKER something difficult, impossible, or dangerous → 1948 US sl.
► NUTCUTTER something difficult, impossible, or dangerous → 1973 US sl.
► UNPOSSIBILITY impossibility → 1905 Eng. dial. (Bk.)
VERBS
► ASK FOR THE MOON to request the impossible → 1994 sl. (Bk.)
► BANG ONE’S HEAD AGAINST A BRICK WALL to try to achieve something impossible
► BARK AT A KNOT to attempt the impossible → 1945 US Western usage (Bk.)
► BARK AT THE MOON to attempt the impossible → 1990 Amer. dial. (Bk.)
► BELIEVE THE MOON IS MADE OF CHEESE to believe firmly something astounding, impossible, or absurd; hence, to be a fool → 18C colloq.
► BOIL THE OCEAN to waste one’s time attempting to do the impossible → 2006 US sl. (Bk.)
► CATCH A HARE WITH A TABOR to seek to do something almost impossible → 1546 obs.
► CATCH THE WIND WITH A NET to attempt the impossible → 1868
► CHANGE A FLY INTO AN ELEPHANT to undertake an impossible task → 1809
► CUT SMOKE WITH A LEATHER HATCHET to attempt impossibilities → 19C Eng. dial.
► DRINK UP THE SEA to attempt the impossible → 19C
► GAPE AGAINST A RED-HOT OVEN to do something impossible → 1893 Eng. dial.
► GO FURTHER THAN HE CAN BLOW to perform impossibilities → 1898 Eng. dial. (Bk.)
► HUNT FOR A HARE WITH A TABOR to seek to do something almost impossible → 1399 obs.
► HUNT FOR HARES WITH A TABOR to undertake an almost impossible or hopeless task → 1592 obs.
► IMPOSSIBILITATE to render impossible → 1633
► LOOK FOR A NEEDLE IN A BOTTLE OF HAY to attempt an extremely difficult, impossible, or foolish task → 1742
► LOOK FOR A NEEDLE IN A HAYSTACK to attempt an extremely difficult, impossible, or foolish task → 1855
► LOOK FOR A NEEDLE IN A MEADOW to attempt an extremely difficult, impossible, or foolish task → c1530
► LOOK FOR A PIN’S HEAD IN A CARTLOAD OF HAY to attempt the impossible→ M16 colloq.
► MILK THE BULL to attempt the impossible → M18 Brit. colloq.
► MILK THE PIGEON to attempt the impossible → M18 Brit. colloq.
► MILK THE RAM to attempt the impossible → M18 Brit. colloq.
► NAIL JELL-O TO A TREE to do the impossible → 1989 US students’ sl.
► PUSH SHIT UPHILL to attempt a difficult or impossible task → 1983 Aust. & NZ
► PUT A ROPE TO THE EYE OF A NEEDLE to attempt the impossible or absurd; to act foolishly and to no purpose → 19C
► SANDPAPER THE ANCHOR to perform a job that need not and, in fact, cannot be performed → 1975 US sl.
► SEEK A HARE IN A HEN’S NEST to attempt something that is almost impossible → 1599 obs.
► SEEK A NEEDLE IN A BOTTLE OF HAY to attempt an extremely difficult, impossible, or foolish task → 1690
► SEEK A NEEDLE IN A TRUSS OF HAY to attempt an extremely difficult, impossible, or foolish task → 1711
► SET THE TORTOISE TO CATCH THE HARE to seek to do something almost impossible → 1798 obs.
► SHOOT THE GULF to succeed in a very hard task; to achieve the impossible → 1629 nautical usage
► SNATCH A CLUB FROM HERCULES to attempt an impossible or very difficult task → 1832
► TAKE HARES WITH FOXES to seek to do something almost impossible → 1577 obs.
► TEACH A PIG TO PLAY ON THE FLUTE to attempt the absurd or impossible → 1884
► TEACH IRON TO SWIM to achieve the impossible → 19C
► THROW STRAWS AGAINST THE WIND to essay the impossible → 1904 sl. (Bk.)
► WASH A NEGRO to attempt an impossible task → 1611 obs., offensive
Lexicophilia 